Is She Difficult or is She Just Anxious and Sensitive? - How learning to respectfully handle alpacas has taught me a lot about how I need to be handled

Sobbing in my Airbnb

I initially became interested in a more gentle and respectful way of handling our alpacas because the standard corner, grab, restrain method a). didn't feel good to me and b). was impossible as a 5 ft 3 woman if they didn't want to comply. (And who does want to comply with being stalked, grabbed and held against their will anyway?! I say this with no judgement. Until I saw a different way it just seemed like this was the only way and is considered industry standard).

Little did I know that this method of handling, known as CameliDynamics, would lead to me travelling across the country to learn more and result in me sobbing in my Airbnb having had some profound insights about my own human behaviour and handling and effecting a complete career change at nearly 37 whilst in the middle of my mothering years.

So... back to why I was sobbing.

I thought I was going on a course to learn about CameliDynamics handling and training for the benefit of our herd. I knew that the course would cover working with South American camelids (alpaca and llamas) in Animal Assisted Activity and Animal Assisted Intervention. In order to do this work we need to understand these creatures intimately so that we can choose the right animals for the work and ensure their wellbeing is a priority. What I didn't know was that in the process of learning more about their behaviours and the way we can support them through challenges in behaviour I would gain a deeper insight into the way I need to be handled too. And it's not that different.

Alpacas are herd animals and feel safest when together. They are a prey species and their escape instinct is strong. When they are approached appropriately and treated with respect they can be calm, curious and inquisitive, some can even become receptive to contact and even affectionate (those who know our Trev know this well)! Very few people get to see this manifestation of an alpaca however because if we don't understand them and behave in ways that do not respect their natural instincts then they will be flighty, they may kick out, spit and will not want you anywhere near them.

Is She Difficult or is She Just Anxious and Sensitive?

They are incredibly individual with characters and behaviours that vary hugely. One size does definitely not fit all in terms of these animals (does it with any?!). One of my Airbnb sobbing realisations was that the most sensitive alpacas have often been handled in the worst ways because we haven't understood their needs (or haven't had the time, resources or knowledge to do something different). When approached with standard handling techniques (corner, grab, restrain) these sensitive creatures often behave in ways that make things extremely hard for their human handlers when it comes time for routine husbandry tasks. These alpacas then receive labels - 'stubborn', 'grumpy', 'crazy' etc. We then approach them with these labels in mind and reinforce the behaviour. It might go something like this: 'she's grumpy, better make sure we really hold her tight when we do her toenails.' 'Grumpy' alpaca is actually 'anxious' alpaca and is terrified because she hates being stalked, cornered, grabbed and restrained so does anything she can to escape including bucking, spinning, kicking and spitting. And then the pattern is reinforced.

An example: we have a breeding female in our herd, Biscuit. All visitors to the farm who are around for any length of time come to know Biscuit. It's hard not to. Her label: 'The Screamer'. From a distance she seems super aggro. We come in with the feed bucket and before we're even through the gate she's screaming and spitting at every alpaca in sight. She spends every feeding time behaving like this. She's barely even eating. She's just screaming and stress gobbling between fights.

When I first came to handle Biscuit I was nervous. How would I be able to do anything I needed to do with her? As soon as I approach her, even with the catch rope and wand (equipment we use in CameliDynamics to approach nervous animals respectfully), she dropped into cush (when they sit with their legs folded underneath them) and dropped her head flat against the ground. A fear response. She's not in any way aggressive, she's extremely sensitive and anxious and has a real stress around food.

When I was on my course with Victoria of SimplyAlpaca I asked her for her thoughts. How can I work with her? There are certain routine tasks that need to be done for her wellbeing so I have to handle her. How do I get to a place where she isn't so scared?

Victoria's advice: extremely slow and gradual steps to rebuilding trust with her. Starting with simply regulating myself first and spending time near but not too near to her. And to feed her separately so that she knows she's getting her allocation and doesn't have to fight for it.

Human Handling

My mind was spinning with the connection to the ways we treat humans, to the ways I have been treated. I'm sure some of you may already be making connections too. I went home and had a big old sob to Josh, my husband of 13 years.

Josh has been through the mill trying to understand my behaviours and learning how to 'handle' me. We've spent many of those 13 years trying to figure out how he can approach me without me freezing or trying to escape his contact. I'm not afraid of him. I want to feel receptive and warm to his touch and don't get me wrong there are many times when I do these days but it's been a long ride there are still times when I feel like I've been stalked and grabbed and I respond emotionally in that way. A loving embrace can sometimes turn me stiff and agitated. It's sad but I understand where this reaction comes from and I am certain this is why I cannot treat the alpacas in this way. And let me clarify here... Josh is not doing anything wrong. In fact he has to second guess every single interaction with me because I am so bloody complicated. I'm quite sure that is exhausting.

My insights into alpaca behaviour, ways of approaching and how I could work with Biscuit helped me to remember that there is nothing whatsoever the matter with me. I just need a very specific method of approach and handling due to my experiences and temperament and a whole lot of trust building.

And it's me who's responsible for that. It's me who needs to communicate what I need. The alpacas do this very well even without verbal communication. Their body language is crystal clear but sometimes I'm not listening. Intent on my action and obliviuous to their needs. This is when I run into trouble. If I have an expectation, if I'm in a rush, if I'm not well regulated, if I'm not present, I won't be able to handle well and I'll likely fail in my task, lose trust points with the animal and may even end up getting kicked.

Labels They (And We) Don't Deserve

The most sensitive of our animals have often been the most poorly handled and often carry an inaccurate label. A label that describes who they are when they are not treated appropriately and with the respect and care they deserve.

And so I find it to be true that the most sensitive of us have often also been the most poorly handled and often carry an inaccurate label too. A label that describes who we are when we have not been treated appropriately and with the respect and care we deserve. Many of us have also learned to suppress and hide our instinctive responses making things even more complicated. We mix our messages by feeling one way and saying something else.

The next time I entered into the catch pen for a handling session, Biscuit came in with some of the others. I didn't have any expectations for her this time. I simply worked around her with the others and focused on breathing well, remaining regulated and making sure to give her space and access to her escape route at all times. I spoke to her kindly and gently making intermittent eye contact if it felt right. After a while she blinked her huge long eyes lashes slowly at me a few times, her ears became relaxed. Then she approached me and stood right behind me. I turned to see who it was and was surprised to see her sweet little face right beside me. She got so close I'd almost even call it a nuzzle. I get goosebumps writing this. She's actually a beautifully curious and friendly alpaca. She's just got some baggage and now I see it, I am learning how to be around her and what she needs and the whole experience is quite profoundly different. Maybe one day she may even allow some contact during a handling session but I'm in absolutely no rush. And I'm so grateful to Victoria for helping me to see that.

Carly x

The girls after our handling session. Biscuit and her cria (baby) Duncan on the right, Billie at the back and Melisandre (Biscuit's mother) and her cria Dotty on the left.